Waxing Poetic

He's going to Chicago tonight for the weekend to have his bachelor party. I know that he'll be good and won't go TOO nuts. However, I felt the need to be explicit in my feelings so that he knows where I stand. I sent him an ecard today to make sure my message rings loud and clear. Here was the message:

Chicago, Chicago, here you come
Steaks, golf, paintball, and then some!
I hope you all have a blast
You'd better behave or I'll kick your ass!

Pretty clever, eh? Well, here is his response:

Vaccuum the rug and spray some fabreeze
Bring Koby to the groomer, and fold some laundreez
Give Zeus a bath
Do none, I will come back and kick your ath

We are THE biggest losers ever and this is why we are so perfect for each other. We entertain each other when no one else can!

I Love My Colleagues

It's a very strange feeling to actually love my job and the people I work with. It's usually either one or the other. I'm so happy that now I have both! They threw me a surprise bridal shower at work yesterday and I was so touched. There was cake, other yummy goodies (some of which were homemade!) and even favors! D put her creativity into action and made little shakers of "happiness dust." How cute is that! They collected money from everyone to get me a gift certificate to Gretta Cole and so now I can indulge in that massage that I've been wanting for so long. I just can't get over how thoughtful, sweet, and sincere everyone is at my company. I've been stuck in other jobs before where I felt trapped. Now I'm working on contract at this job and it's up in December. I want to be trapped here! I hope my contract will be renewed when the time comes:o)

After the shower, I met up with the girls at the Rattlesnake for happy hour. Well, happy hour turned into happy night and I drank way too much sangria. I tried to be healthy and got the salmon and rice entree for dinner. We ate, talked, drank, and had a merry old time. I got home at around 10:00 and that was it, or so I thought, until I put the pieces together this morning. I couldn't remember what I did between the time of getting home and going to bed. The aging is killing my memory cell by cell. Anyway, I was at work this morning and it suddenly dawned on me. What did I do when I got home last night? I ATE HALF A CHICKEN. Yes, I know, totally and completely disgusting considering I had already eaten an entire dinner. He had roasted a chicken for dinner and ate what he could. He left the remainder of it on the stove. I came home, saw it, grabbed it and proceeded to eat every single morsel of chicken. I even sunk low enough to suck the meat off the bones. I did share a little with the doggies, but I ate waaaaay more than I should have. No wonder I'm so freaking bloated today! Ugh, I'm so gross.

I don't get it

I've been noticing a strange fashion trend going on lately and thought I'd put my two cents in. There are these rubber clog-like shoes that are showing up in stores and on a lot of feet. I've seen them on children, adults, elderly, males, females, you name it. I just googled them to see what they're called and I guess they're called Croc Shoes. They're made of rubber with a band at the heel and holes all over the top. They're ugly as sin, but after reading about them, I guess I understand why people buy them. They're completely waterproof, they mold to your feet, they are slip-resistant, and don't harbor foul-smelling odors. I guess this is good footwear for the beach and for people who are on their feet for most of the day. That being said, I still would never give into the "trend" and buy them. They're hideous. I don't care what color they come in, they'll never look good with anything. Considering that I don't live near a pool, I hardly go to the beach, and I sit in my cubicle day in and day out, I am and will continue to be Croc ShoeLess.

Under the Weather

I started the weekend off all fine and dandy. He and I went to the Cape to attend S and T's wedding. The weather couldn't have been more perfect. 0% humidity and a balmy 80 degrees. The ceremony was held outdoors at a yacht club overlooking the water. The reception was great and full of dancing (as well as an open bar.) Everything was going well. We left relatively early because we had an hour and a half drive back home while most of our other friends were staying the night (we're dutiful parents and had to come home and tuck our doggies into bed.) Anyway, as soon as I stepped out of the car in our parking lot, I was slammed with an intense wave of heat and broke out into a sweat. I went to bed with a high fever and was not feeling my best. I spent the entire day on Sunday in bed and called in sick on Monday. I went to work yesterday because the fever had broken and I thought I was on the mend. However, while at work today, I felt like I had been run over by a truck, had it back up, and then run over me again just for fun. It doesn't help when the people around you tell you that you look and sound horrible either. I know they're trying to make me feel better because I do the same to others when they're sick. Although, it always makes the person feel worse. Oh, I look like shit? Thanks. I didn't realize. Yes, I know, guilty as charged since I commit the crime too.

Anyway, I sucked up the health crisis and went home to wait for my sister to come with me for my gown fitting. This tailor has to be THE cutest little old man next to my late grandfather. My sis and I just love him to pieces. He shuffles back and forth in his basement/work area talking in his European accented English and I swear, I just want to eat him up. He was even wearing cute little suspenders today and pink fluffy slippers that I'm sure belonged to his wife. Anyway, he did a great job with the first round of alterations so now I'll wait until next week when he does the rest. I think I'm going to adopt him into my family.

After the fitting, my sister, brother, and I went for Mexican food for dinner. Since my sister has already gotten married, she ordered the full-fat chicken chimichangas which were fried, oozing with cheese, and slathered in sour cream and guacamole. Oh, and we can't forget the sides of mexican rice and refried beans. Then next to here there was me, the bride-to-be. I ordered the chicken burrito. Not just any chicken burrito though. I had them hold the sour cream and guac, go extra light on the cheese, and substitute the refried beans with regular ol' black beans, nevermind the fact that I'd much rather have had the beef instead of chicken. My sister said it best when she looked at me after I ordered and said, "You sound like such a bride!" God, I can't wait until I can eat whatever the hell I want. He won't like it, but I will. On that note, I did seem to lose a couple pounds within the past week. I stepped on the scale and was lighter than I had anticipated. I believe it's from a combination of the wedding stress and the cold/fever. At least one good thing is coming out of all this damned stress.

One Big Vent

I can't take it when people perseverate on one particular thing and can't snap out of it. It's even worse when that thing is utterly insignificant in the whole scheme of things. Can't these people take a hint? I mean, it gets to a point when giving them subtle cues to shut up just doesn't work and your only options are to either run out of the room screaming in frustration, tear that person a new a$$hole, or sit there silently fuming. I usually opt for the latter for the sake of politeness and I imagine doing the other two in my head. I mean, it gets to a point where the ignoramus is focusing so much on one detail that they push and push and push until they get everything they have to say out. It's like they think their head will explode if they don't say everything that they want to say right then and there. They need to realize that maybe their head won't explode after they say their piece, but everyone else's will. It's just so exasperating!

Life Update

All of a sudden, life has become one big whirlwind and I'm trying my damndest to stay in control. We started the long weekend off on Friday afternoon by picking up our banquet invitations (finally)! Then we met up with friends for happy hour at the Rattlesnake. I had a meal and two drinks while we were there, but for some reason, that wasn't enough for me. On the way home, we went to the BK drivethrough and I got myself a Whopper Jr. I haven't eaten one of those in years and holy hell, it tasted so good. However, about 15 minutes after eating it, I was reminded of why I stopped eating them in the first place (besides the unnatural amount of fat in them). I started feeling like all the salt in my body was rising and collecting in my face. I felt so bloated and disgusting. I don't think I'll be eating one of those again for a long while.

Saturday was spent doing wedding-related activities, neither of which were for my own wedding. The afternoon was dedicated to Big J's shower at Soho where we made scrapbook pages for her. I know this is the big "in" thing to do now, but I don't have a creative bone in my body and it was painful trying to make my page look good. Everyone thought I would be good at it since I was an elementary school teacher. I had to explain to them that the only reason my stuff looked good next to my students' was because they were freaking 8 years old. Saturday night was definitely eventful. We went out for S's bachelorette party. He dropped me off in Faneuil Hall to meet up with the ladies so we started the night off with a scorpion bowl at the Hong Kong. I wondered where we were off to next when the maid of honor informed me that we were going to meet the party bus at the corner. Party bus? She mentioned this on the invitation, but I thought it was a joke! We seriously had a bus that drove us around Boston. We nicknamed the driver Big Sexy and he was great. He would drop us off at whatever bar we wanted and would patiently wait outside for us. I had a great time.

July 4th was pretty tame since the weather wasn't really cooperating. We spent the day at D's house and basically ran in and out of the house all day trying to avoid the passing thunderstorms. I was able to get a little time in the pool though so it finally feels like summer has arrived.

I spent last night stamping and stuffing the invitations so that we can finally get them out. I nearly fell asleep on them trying to get them all finished. I couldn't sleep all night because I was so stressed out over all this wedding crap. Every single muscle in my body is tense and I think I'm going to give myself an ulcer one of these days. Once all these weddings are done and over with, people are going to start having baby showers and we'll never get a rest. The thought is giving me a migraine.

So I was heating up my Lean Cuisine for lunch today with Kumar and we were trying to figure out what we used to eat for lunch before all the dieting began. Sadly, I really can't remember. Was it soups? Sandwiches? Who knows. I have my daily yogurt and granola for breakfast, a mid-morning healthy snack, a lean cuisine for lunch, a mid-afternoon fruit or something equally healthy, and then dinner. Then I log it into my online health journal. EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's getting a bit old. I can't wait for the day after the wedding and banquet are finally over. I am going to eat everything in sight and not give a rat's ass about its fat content or my caloric intake. I will throw caution to the wind! Then i'll probably get sick and throw up. Great.