Shallow Me

I've been wasting time lately browsing Friendster and Myspace for old schoolmates. He calls me nosy, which I am, but that's what these sites are for, right? It's interesting to see what people look like now and to read about what their lives are like. I went to a huge high school and it was very easy to feel invisible. Although I wasn't the "loser" with no friends, I definitely wasn't the life of the party either. Adolescence is such an awkward time in life and I would never re-live those years. I was always in awe of the classmates that seemed so comfortable with who they were. Looking back, I'm sure they felt just as self-conscious about themselves as I did. They just hid it better. There were those guys that everyone liked and the girls that everyone wanted to be.Their attractiveness was skewed because of this popularity factor and they seemed like the most beautiful people in the world. They seemed like they had everything in life. They had the money, the clothes, the run of the school, the cars, and friends galore. I felt like I was living in a stereotypical high school showcased so often on TV and in movies. College was much different. Maybe it's because I went to such a huge metropolitan school, or maybe it was because I was maturing and finally became comfortable with who I was. It was most likely a combination of the two. I then moved back to Boston with a strong sense of self and I look back on my days in high school and wish I had this self-confidence at that age. I would have been way more outgoing and less worried about what other people were thinking about me. It's funny because I look at the current pictures and profiles of all those people from high school and you know what? They ain't that hot! The attractive qualities aren't quite there anymore 10 years out of high school and some of them sound downright dumb. I know I sound completely superficial, but hey, I find it a bit amusing! All those people that I held in such high esteem have fallen off their pedestals and I finally realize that they're just the average run-of-the-mill people. It's quite comforting. All those things that I used to be self-conscious about because I was different are what I see now as my most unique and beautiful qualities. Oh, how teenage angst gets us everytime.