Junkie 101

Lesson #1: Don't ever try and quit cold turkey. It hurts like a bitch! Okay, so I'm not talking about illegal narcotics here. I'm only under the influence of some run-of-the mill antidepressants. A couple of weeks ago, my doctor took me completely off one of my meds thinking that maybe only being on the other one would be good enough. Well, he has some serious explaining to do because I had to learn the hard way that stopping the medication abruptly can lead to some serious withdrawal symptoms.

Ever since I stopped the med, I have gotten progressively worse. Yesterday took the cake. I have no idea how the hell I made it through work and am even more surprised that I got myself home in one piece. I have never felt so nauseous and dizzy in my life. I yakked up my lunch at work and then did it again after dinner. It was so violent that I actually burst some blood vessels on my face and even in my eyeball! Since my doctor wasn't available yesterday, I had to talk to the doctor on call. He told me to go back on the med to alleviate the pain I was feeling. I took one yesterday and one today and it seems to have help alleviate some of the symptoms. I really hope yesterday was rock bottom and that I'll just keep improving.

I'm waiting for my doctor to get back into the office this week so he can tell me why he did what he did. If he can't come up with a good explanation, I guess I'll have to start all over with someone new.

I can't believe how physically ill people can get while in withdrawal. If this is how it feels to withdraw from a dinky antidepressant, I can't even imagine what it's like for those heroine addicts. Yikes. No wonder they fail at quitting so often. This pain is nothing to balk at! Note to self: don't do drugs.

Welcome to America

The last time I checked, I could've sworn I lived in the year 2007. Why is it then that after having a nice lunch with Him in the middle of the workday, did we encounter such biggoted bastards at the freaking mall!

We were strolling leisurely down the corridor, trying to digest our lunch with every step. We walked past two large white guys in their 20's and out of nowhere we hear, "Konichiwa!" I was so stunned that I just said, "What the hell?!" Then the racist redneck just kept walking and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "oh well, so what if I offended you. What are you going to do about it?" Although his buddy didn't say anything to us, he may as well have considering that he didn't punch his friend in the face right then and there.

After a second, I realized what had happened and called down the hall after him. "FAT FUCK!!!!!" came out of my mouth, louder than I had expected. I'd bet money on the fact that he's probably said the same thing to other Asians and most, if not all, of them have never said anything back to him. I don't know if it's because I'm not the stereotypical passive Asian girl or if it's just because I'm a complete bitch when I have to be, but I'm pretty sure he was surprised to hear my response.

I know that I should let this shit just roll off my back because he's just an ignorant son of a bitch, but I can't help but get really pissed off. I was so heated afterwards and it really has ruined the rest of my day. I've been fortunate enough in my life to have not faced this type of situation too often. But, what comes with that is the fact that every time it does happen, I can't just let it go. It hurts each time like it was the first.

I hope he gets his ass kicked one of these days when he says the wrong thing to the wrong people. Fucking fucker.